cathyw: Gromit knitting in bed (knitting)
Cathy ([personal profile] cathyw) wrote2023-01-26 03:23 pm

vaguely vagueposting, but

...I have questions and no answers right now.

Yesterday I took a collection of symptoms to the doctor. "Oh," he said, "that's pretty classic Condition X, especially given a family history of Condition X. Gonna run some tests to rule out similar Condition Y, but it doesn't sound like that's the problem." Condition X is a Problem but it's the kind of Problem you can live with? (Ironically, yesterday when I was actually with the doctor, my symptoms were something I had to describe and kind of intentionally fake for him, because yesterday was a good day. Today is not a good day, I could demonstrate the problem really easily. Like taking the car to the mechanic...)

The tests that were supposed to rule out Condition Y seem to be ruling it in instead. Kind of. (I also have Condition X, the tests indicate! but it's not causing the collection of symptoms I complained about to the doctor.) 

Condition Y is scary. It is treatable but the treatment is also scary. Complications of Condition Y kill people. (I suppose complications of Condition X also kill people, if somewhat indirectly.)

Even if it is not Condition Y, the tests are pointing at something that is not Condition X. Either way it is very likely a major change in my life. Either way it might mean I'm on a timer. (I suppose everyone is on a timer.)

...and I wish the doctor would get back to me with his opinion on whether I have Condition Y and what else we might need to do to find out for sure, because right now I'm sitting here ruminating about it.

Corporeal form is bullshit, yo.


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