vaguely vagueposting, but

[cathyw]

...I have questions and no answers right now.

Yesterday I took a collection of symptoms to the doctor. "Oh," he said, "that's pretty classic Condition X, especially given a family history of Condition X. Gonna run some tests to rule out similar Condition Y, but it doesn't sound like that's the problem." Condition X is a Problem but it's the kind of Problem you can live with? (Ironically, yesterday when I was actually with the doctor, my symptoms were something I had to describe and kind of intentionally fake for him, because yesterday was a good day. Today is not a good day, I could demonstrate the problem really easily. Like taking the car to the mechanic...)

The tests that were supposed to rule out Condition Y seem to be ruling it in instead. Kind of. (I also have Condition X, the tests indicate! but it's not causing the collection of symptoms I complained about to the doctor.) 

Condition Y is scary. It is treatable but the treatment is also scary. Complications of Condition Y kill people. (I suppose complications of Condition X also kill people, if somewhat indirectly.)

Even if it is not Condition Y, the tests are pointing at something that is not Condition X. Either way it is very likely a major change in my life. Either way it might mean I'm on a timer. (I suppose everyone is on a timer.)

...and I wish the doctor would get back to me with his opinion on whether I have Condition Y and what else we might need to do to find out for sure, because right now I'm sitting here ruminating about it.

Corporeal form is bullshit, yo.

Comments

[lunarriviera]

it IS bullshit and i'm ready to be a brain in a jar/dotted along a collection of circuitry.

fingers crossed it's X? do you get a second opinion if he says it's Y?

[cathyw]

the first thing that will probably happen if he says it's Y (or even Y-adjacent) is that I will be referred to a specialist, so I will kind of be getting at least a second pair of MD eyeballs on the test results. it might depend on exactly what the prognosis and recommended course of action are.

(our mutual friend who occasionally does such things looked at the results and said she doesn't want to diagnose but Y is definitely in the realm of possibility.)

(there are also some non-Y-adjacent possibilities but none of those seem likely to be causing my symptoms?)

[cathyw]

(to unvague it a bit: Y is an autoimmune thing. in the overall spectrum of things, could be worse but it is not terrific.)

[lunarriviera]

House, MD: "It's never lupus."

[FINGERS CROSSED]

[lunarriviera]

well goddammit, Y. i wish Y were completely out of the picture but i'm glad/hope you'll have a specialist on board to take a closer look? (and yes i keep thinking of bryan k. vaughan's virtuoso comic run Y: The Last Man, in which every male on the planet dies except one and he's STILL the hero of the story!) (which makes sense when you get to the last book, but is super-frustrating up until then) (anyway ksjhdfksjhdkfjh BEGONE, Y.)

[aurumcalendula]

Ugh *hugs*