Cathy

"based on the lab results, I don't think we need that transvaginal ultrasound, unless you really want to go ahead with it."

("Doctor, does anyone actually *want* a transvaginal ultrasound?" She agreed that even for the patients who had them, "want" was an awfully strong word.)

(The lab results indicated that I was still in the Functioning Ovaries zone, which kind of surprises me. I mean, I'm going on 53? Isn't it time that they should be planning for their retirement in a nice quiet spot in the country where I never have to hear from them again? at least they are far less of a nuisance since I had their accomplice chopped into bits and sucked out through a straw by a robot, but it also means I don't get the usual source of information about what kind of shenanigans they're up to...)

was about ready to slap about five people at work. concluded that tea would be better.

husband joked 'also limber up, don't want the slapping to result in muscle straing.' did about three yoga poses while waiting for the tea water to boil. felt. better? is that allowed?

tea is good. must also remember to stretch the meatsuit more than once a month.

and have achieved 'can email person 'it feels like your group is trying to avoid taking any responsibility in this situation, but this is supposed to be a two-way street' instead of slapping, moodwise.

There are 504 steps from the bottom to the top of the highest tower of the Sagrada Familia cathedral.

I currently get winded after the 24 steps from the first floor to the second floor of the building my office is in. That is 1/21 of the amount of stairs I will need to climb should I, in fact, find myself in Barcelona at the bottom of the tower wanting to be at the top of the tower, a situation well more within the realm of possibility than the Doctor appearing, introducing himself, and instructing me to RUN.

I better get on that.

I'm starting a filter for my process of working through the anti-inflammatory diet - if you want to be on it comment here? 

doctor got back to me and given the exact test results, he thinks it's not "kind of scary autoimmune condition Y" (rheumatoid arthritis, which is also apparently not as scary as I thought it was with late-in-life onset), it's "not-great-but-less-scary condition X" (ordinary average osteoarthritis).

and I suppose either way I'm looking forward to shiny new chronic pain and reduced mobility in my hands and wrists.

corporeal form, as noted, is bullshit.

...I have questions and no answers right now.

Yesterday I took a collection of symptoms to the doctor. "Oh," he said, "that's pretty classic Condition X, especially given a family history of Condition X. Gonna run some tests to rule out similar Condition Y, but it doesn't sound like that's the problem." Condition X is a Problem but it's the kind of Problem you can live with? (Ironically, yesterday when I was actually with the doctor, my symptoms were something I had to describe and kind of intentionally fake for him, because yesterday was a good day. Today is not a good day, I could demonstrate the problem really easily. Like taking the car to the mechanic...)

The tests that were supposed to rule out Condition Y seem to be ruling it in instead. Kind of. (I also have Condition X, the tests indicate! but it's not causing the collection of symptoms I complained about to the doctor.) 

Condition Y is scary. It is treatable but the treatment is also scary. Complications of Condition Y kill people. (I suppose complications of Condition X also kill people, if somewhat indirectly.)

Even if it is not Condition Y, the tests are pointing at something that is not Condition X. Either way it is very likely a major change in my life. Either way it might mean I'm on a timer. (I suppose everyone is on a timer.)

...and I wish the doctor would get back to me with his opinion on whether I have Condition Y and what else we might need to do to find out for sure, because right now I'm sitting here ruminating about it.

Corporeal form is bullshit, yo.

dude really kind of roughed me up today; I actually took him up on the offer of an ice pack afterwards.

what did it was not any of the usual exercises or stretches. I can do ten minutes on the steppy thing. I can do three sets of fifteen of the clamshell exercise.

I cannot balance on one foot for 30 seconds, especially when that foot is the right foot. in the back of my head I can hear the Wii Fit Balance Board being gently disappointed in me.

(at least unlike the Wii Fit Balance Board the PT doesn't start and end our sessions by pointing out that I'm fat; they haven't weighed me at all.) 

my legs are jelly. I think that means I did it right.

today's session involved a leg stretch that involved a position I didn't think I could get my body into. also an exercise involving putting weight on my feet at different angles that reminded me of martial arts stances.

which led me to wonder if there is a park in the majority-Asian neighborhood in town where elders gather to do tai chi, and whether a fat white girl who doesn't know tai chi would be welcome to join in, or whether I can take tai chi classes through the community college or the parks and rec department. but that is for later.

for sooner: cassildra  and I were both thinking 'I would rather die young than do the elliptical but I need cardio, we should get an exercise bike' so yesterday we picked out an exercise bike and ordered it. we will be the proud owners of a Schwinn 170 as soon as they can mail it to us. (which means I need to clean up the space I want it to live in, of course. *external screaming* but it needs doing anyways...)

I'm not completely lactose-intolerant. I can handle small doses of lactose.

I cannot handle "nutella milkshake from Steak-N-Shake" doses of lactose.

All the same I cannot regret having the milkshake.